Saturday, December 10, 2005
So since I haven't blogged in over a week's time, I thought I should just to let everyone know that I am alive. Finals are next week, six in total, one every day - two on Friday. I still don't know how I am getting home...mom might have to come pick me up.
But I feel like reflecting on my law professor's "closing comments" from Thursday's lecture, our last lecture. Our class, as a whole, is made up of highly-motivated students who have high expectations of what we want to get out of life. Our professor has generalized our class with this very nice compliment although I'm not sure everyone fits into it. Or maybe I just feel that I am one of the most highly motivated students who has many goals to achieve in life (not to brag...) But, seriously, some of the students in our lecture do not fit this category of highly motivated/high expectations.
Basically, part of what our professor was saying that we shouldn't get to caught up in our expectations and trying to achieve everything and pleasing/impressing everyone around us. Why? Because someone is ALWAYS going to be on top of you. Competition can be healthy in uni because it pushes ourselves to study harder and to get better grades. However, competition in the real world can be dangerous. And so as our professor said....something along the lines of "how he's scared for us." Why? Like I said, someone will always be on top of us. Someone will have the better job, the nicer car, the nicer home, more money, and so on. Most of what drives this competition to be better than the person standing to your side is the fact that our world is so F*CKING BLOODY MATERIALISTIC.
Our professor gave us an example. Back in 1991....there was a girl....very motivated and high expectations/goals in life who landed a job with a "large accounting firm" after graduation. I am making the assumption one of the Big 4 international accounting firms, such as KPMG who I'll be working for in 9 months. Anyways, she had attempted to pass the CPA exam to become a certified public accountant (CPA). What did she do when she didn't pass the exam?
She held a gun to her head and killed herself. Why? Because, according to our professor, she couldn't deal with the immense pressures facing her......of living up to the expectation that she HAD to become a CPA in order to succeed in life.
A chill immediately ran through my body. Throughout our professor's "closing comments," I was making a connection to everything he was saying.
So, what I am getting at?
I hate living up to the expectation that I MUST become a CPA. Both my mom and dad keep asking, "Mark, you're planning on studying and then taking the CPA exam, right?" "Yes, mom/dad." Everytime I go home, I get these questions. Over Thanksgiving break, it came from my dad. I f*cking hate it when they ask me this. Did they forget that during 1st year - second semester I f*cking mapped out every subject I needed to complete to graduate? Even my academic advisor back then commented how I was one of the very few students who took such responsibility for their academics. Who the hell has a 3.71 cumulative GPA?....ummm the last time I checked a 3.67 was a A minus. Who handled all the bullsh*t (paperwork/applications, essays, meetings, etc etc) associated with studying abroad? So why, then, do my parents have to keep asking me about the CPA exam? I have no f*cking clue. I'm not like some students who still need their hand held to get through uni. I thought that crap happened in high school but apparently some people are still quite immature.
I constantly think about what could happen if I do or do not pass the CPA exam. If I do pass, that's great. I litterally have nothing to worry about because once you become a CPA, you can practically do anything your heart desires and you can name your price (how much you gotta be paid). SOO many work opportunities become available once you're a CPA. If I don't pass, that really sucks. You cannot become a manager at KPMG or any other Big 4 firm unless you have passed the exam meaning there's little promotion available. Less work opportunities. And, I have a very strong feeling that if I want to do an international rotation that I will need my CPA license.
I am tired of listening to the pressures of becoming a CPA, and graduation is still 5 and a half months away. I hate dealing with the expectation that I MUST become one. Am I going to kill myself over it? F*CK NO! What I am going to do? Move to another country...maybe SG.
Finally, from my "Empires of Profit" book that I've had to read for my international business subject: "On the morning of Monday 3rd February 1975, he left his New York apartment for work, having said goodbye to his wife and daughter. As usual, he took the elevator to his office on the 44th floor of the Pam Am building. But on this particular morning, he used his briefcase to smash through the glass of the office window, and leapt to his death on the pavement below."